sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize