I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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