Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
