its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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