Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize