My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
