I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
