No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
