i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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