wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
