u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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