We named our party play list daddy issues
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
