Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
