If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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