Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
