S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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