Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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