Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
