how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
