so explain again why im purple
no
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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