Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
