Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
