I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Randomize