booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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