I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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