Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just want nice things and good sex
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
