I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
