I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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