ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
