You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
