We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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