Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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