I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize