How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
