he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
