Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I love you.
Bad choice
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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