i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize