Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
