no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Thank you for not boning my boss.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
