O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
