Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You can't motorboat a personality
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
