It's like God shit irony all over that family
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize