Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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