Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
NoShamevember. You game?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
