I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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