We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
