It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
