I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I need to calm my uterus...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
