i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
