I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
