Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
