We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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