on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
