ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
