Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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