how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
