you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
