; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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