batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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