What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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