yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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