you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
