I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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