How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
