Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
