But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
two words: eviction party
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
