Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
