That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
