If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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