Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
