David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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