Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
