i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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