Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Be still, my beating vagina.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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