Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
