Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
