I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
