I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
